Michael Griswold Advice

Can You and Your Ex Get Back Together

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can you and your ex get back togetherIf you truly want to get back together with your ex, you have to do a bit of soul searching. You must be totally honest with yourself.  You have to decide if you and your ex get back together it will truly make you happy, and you won’t wind up down the same road that caused the breakup in the first place.  It’s always easy after a breakup to only think of the good times.  It’s important that you try to be completely objective and think of both the good and bad times.

In reality, there are a few relationships that are unworthy of saving. If you and your ex spent more time fighting than you did doing something good and fun, then perhaps you should consider moving on. f they were physically or verbally abusive, it probably wasn’t a healthy relationship.  If they were mentally unstable, you probably are better off without them.  If the relationship overall was a good one, and they weren’t abusive, and they were of sound mind, the following should help you and your ex get back together.

Pestering and pushing your ex isn’t a good idea.  If you try to constantly get in touch with your ex; whether its by phone, email, text message, or stalking them you’re going to do more harm than good.  They will see this as a sign of desperation.  This could actually push them further away than bring them closer to you.

Don’t argue, beg, or plead with your ex about your past relationship. It’s easy when you and your mind are all alone.  Your mind manifests all sorts of “wrongs” that you may have done.  Even when your ex broke up with you they may have gave you reasons why.  Now, you’re probably beating yourself up over them.  You probably wish you had never done those things.  The past is the past.  This is the present.

If you get it in your mind that the relationship is currently over.  You can’t go back in time, though you probably wish you could.  Concentrate on what is going on now.  The only thing worse than obsessively contacting your ex is to beg or plead with them.  Make promises how you’ll change, etc…This won’t help you and your ex get back together at all.

If you back off, give them some time, and live your life, you’ll be doing yourself a big favor in more ways than one.  You’ll probably become more desirable to your ex, because you’re allowing them to think about you and miss you.  You’ll also be helping yourself to live a happier, more fulfilling life too.

How can You Tell If You Are In A Toxic Relationship

How can you tell if you are in a toxic relationship?  Here are some clues:

  • Your partner puts you down (verbally) in front of others
  • While your partner says they love you, their actions don’t back it up.
  • Your partner is controlling – reading your mail or “showing up” at places you are just to “check up” on you.
  • Your partner tries to make you dependent on them.
  • You have changed things about yourself to please them.

Toxic people makehow can you tell you are in a toxic relationship you feel ill just being around them.  So, why would anyone end up in a toxic relationship?  Why would anyone want to be with someone who makes them feel emotionally or physically harmed?

A toxic relationship has a cycle.  There’s a honeymoon period, followed by a blow up, followed by a reconciliation – at which point the cycle begins anew.

When you first meet a new partner, you are obviously in the honeymoon stage.  It is not until they’ve sucked you in further that you realize that you are in a toxic relationship.  At that point, it is difficult to get out.

One reason is that many people in toxic relationships grow up in toxic homes.  As a result, they replicate the patterns of their childhood without even knowing they’re doing it.  And, they may not know any better.  Others believe they do not deserve happiness.  Still others find that they enjoy taking care of people.

But the first step in getting out and staying out of toxic relationships is to realize that you do have choices.  Often people who stay in these couples have low self esteem or suffer from depression.

Once you realize that you have choices, the next step is to start standing up for yourself.  In most toxic relationships, the toxic partner has taught you that it is all your fault.  Once you buy into this,  it can be very difficult to either walk away from the relationship or set new limits that can heal the relationship.

For some people, working in therapy groups can help them either get out of or redefine these horrible relationships.

The good news is that some people are able to break the cycles of toxic relationships.  Some of them leave the relationship and form new, healthier bonds.

But others are actually able to repair their relationship and stay in it.

The truth is that most relationships are able to be salvaged.  Sometimes it takes a little space.  Other times, it takes counseling.  But if both partners make an attempt, it is possible to renew the bonds in a healthy way.

The first thing you need to decide is that the relationship must improve or you’re willing to walk away.  If you aren’t willing to walk away, you’ll never be able to heal that which divides you.

Once you have liberated yourself from the dependency that is at the core of a toxic relationship, you can start to assert what you need from the connection.  Don’t nag the other person.  Simply say “I need your support,” “I need your love,” or “I need your truthful opinion.”

If you don’t get what you need, the other person should know that you’re prepared to walk.

A healthy relationship is a two way street.  In a toxic relationship, the street is only going one way.  You have the power to change that, but you must take the power into your own hands.

7 Ways to Build Trust in a Relationship

7 ways to build trust in a relationshipDo you know these 7 concrete ways to build trust in a relationship?  Often, what really makes a relationship work are not the things we think of first.  For instance, do you think you always need to spice things up?  Wrong!  Predictability is more important than variety in a relationship.  The following seven methods are guaranteed to grow your connection by improving the level of trust in a relationship.

First, as I mentioned in the opening paragraph, you need to be predictable.  This goes against the common notion that you need to “stir things up” to keep the romance alive.  Sure, going to a new restaurant or giving a surprise gift can be nice, but most of all, we need things to be consistent and steady in order to make our relationships work.  Consider that trust in a relationship is built on being reliable day in and day out.

Next, you need to make sure that your words always match the message.  This means that your partner needs to hear the words which match your body language.  If you say you are happy but you are frowning, your partner doesn’t hear your words, he or she sees your face and the tone in your voice. Your parter needs to be able to trust what you are saying.  When the words match the message, you build trust in a relationship.

Third, you need to have a fundamental belief in your partner’s competency.  If you don’t you won’t have the trust in a relationship that you need.  When lovingly communicated, the truth is never destructive.  When you do not believe that your partner is competent at some things (or indeed, anything), you violate the trust in a relationship.

Don’t keep secrets.  Secrets destroy the trust in a relationship.  Be honest and open.  Assume everything you know will eventually come out.  Secrets require enormous energy on your part.  That is energy that could be going into building the relationship.

Fifth, don’t be afraid to let your partner know what your needs are.  Don’ t make him or her guess what you need.  Let them know.  It is okay to be self-centered as long as you are not selfish.  Indeed, if you are reluctant to assert your needs, you may go overboard in the opposite direction and smother your partner.

Sixth, learn to say no.  When your partner voices his or her needs, that is a good thing.  But you don’t need to say yes to everything.  A partner cannot respect you if you never say no.  Refusing to be subjugated to the other person’s will actually builds trust in a relationship.

Finally, always pursue growth.  When you plant a flower, you begin by digging in the dirt.  Digging in the dirt of our relationships can sometimes cause pain.  But, through that pain, we prepare the soil for future growth.  Don’t be afraid of turmoil, crisis, or questions.  These become the fertilizer for growth and change.  Embrace what is difficult.

When you decide to work on trust in a relationship, you are bound to encounter a little pain.  But, as you work through this pain, you will not only become stronger as an individual, you will also strengthen your coupledom.

How Can I Get My Ex Girlfriend Back?

If you’re wondering, “Can I get my ex girlfriend back?” then the breakup probably wasn’t so devastating that you think the relationship can’t be saved.  You’ll have to hope she feels the same way.  If any hurt was caused during the split that you should apologize for, now’s the time to say you’re sorry. Being sorry and sincerely showing it is a good first step.
Can I get my ex girlfriend back by showing my sensitive side?
Well, there’s no guarantee you’ll get back together, but the odds tilt more and more in your favor when you do things right. Show her how much you miss her, and how sorry you are.  Just pay attention to what she does. If your gestures of sorrow only make her angry—she throws away the roses or something dramatic like that, for example—change your tactics until you find that something she responds to.
If flowers or cards frustrate her, for example, maybe that’s because it’s easy to pick up the phone and order flowers or buy a card someone else wrote.  Try putting yourself in her shoes and try to figure out something more appealing. Buy a blank card and write your own verse in it.  It doesn’t have to rhyme, in fact it’s better if it doesn’t.  Try to honestly express how you feel.  Or pick flowers and present her with a bouquet you put together yourself.
A common complaint among women is that men aren’t thoughtful.  Were you thoughtful during the relationship?  Now you might be wondering, can I get my ex girlfriend back by being thoughtful?  Not necessarily, but it’s one more step toward your goal of getting her back.  Every positive thing stacks up, making it easier and easier for her to come back to you. Don’t expect things to happen right away, though.
If you spent your relationship rarely doing thoughtful things, or you only did them in the beginning, she’ll probably doubt the things you do now.  Just be patient, and keep up your efforts. Don’t appear frustrated or angry.  Do the thoughtful things because it feels good to make her happy, not because you’re working toward a goal.
Can I get my ex girlfriend back by dating other women?
If it’s been a long time since the breakup, and you’re still working on being thoughtful, a casual date seems harmless and may make her wish she was your date, but go too far and it could backfire.
Can I get my ex girlfriend back if she has a boyfriend?
The odds are against it, but if you can show her that she’ll be happier with you than the new boyfriend you’ll have a good chance.  Being thoughtful will go a long way toward showing her that.  Even if it seems hopeless, don’t give up.
If it appears she’s moved on, still send her a card you wrote just wishing her a great week.  But don’t look as if you have any expectations.  Your thoughtfulness might really impress her.
One other thing my friend, the points made above, are only just one step in the equation of getting your true love back. The important thing is to have a step by step plan that will lead you in your heartfelt pursuit.
Frankly, that’s what I did when my true love dumped me. I followed a plan authored by T ‘Dub’ Jackson. When my cause was almost hopeless and I was dieing inside, it hauled me up by my bootstraps and helped me get my life’s love back. It’s called “The Magic of Making Up” and you can check it out at: http://www.magicofmakingup.com

Forget the Past Look Towards the Future

How many times have you found yourself focusing on the past and ending up feeling upset and distraught about what you lost?

Michael Griswold Reunited Relationship

Many men AND women tend to focus on the relationship they lost right after a break-up. They go over things in their mind, wondering what they could have done differently or what they should have said to make their ex stay.

Some women glamorize the relationship they’ve lost, focusing on only the happy times they spent with their ex. They conveniently forget all about the bad times, the unhappy times and the downright miserable times.

When you’re looking back at the past, you’re not focused on your future. You might be so busy trying to bring back what you thought you’ve lost that you’re completely ruining any chances you had of creating a brand new future with your partner.

Here’s a tip: forget about the past. The relationship you had with your ex has been lost. You can’t get that part of your life back right now.

However, you CAN rebuild a brand new future with your ex, but this can only happen if you stop looking backwards and start looking forwards. You don’t need to forget about your ex, but you may need to realize that if you really want this man back, your next attempt at a relationship must be different if it’s going to survive.

Click on the link to find out how: Michael Griswold Reunited Relationship

Think about it. The relationship the two of you had didn’t work. You broke up. Why on earth would you want that same relationsh

ip back if you already know it’s destined to fail?

Instead of focusing so hard on what you lost in the past, try looking forward to the future and create an image of you and your ex in a happier, more loving relationship that lasts the distance.

The key to getting your ex back and really making your relationship work is to understand what failed the first time and then take steps to create a stronger foundation for your new future relationship.

Stop the Blaming Game, It’s Counterproductive

Have you ever watched someone blame everyone else around them for the bad things that happen? It’s almost as though they’re making excuses for why they can’t take responsibility for their own life.

www.gettingdumped101.com/getyourexbacknow

The really sad part about people who look for others to take the blame for their own misfortunes is that they are the types of people who also believe that others should be somehow responsible for all the good things too.

For example, have you ever known someone who believed that her partner was solely responsible for making her happy? She felt it was somehow his job to make her life happy just by being in it.

Yet, when the relationship failed, she blamed him for not trying hard enough, not liking her enough, not loving her enough… the excuses are endless. And they’re all based on blaming someone else.

When you blame others for the things happening to you now, you’re handing over responsibility to someone else. In essence, you’re thinking you are completely blameless and everything that’s happening to you is somehow their fault.

Of course, this doesn’t mean you should accept 100% of the blame onto yourself either. That’s completely counterproductive.

It takes two people to argue. It takes two people to have a happy, successful relationship. You’re both equally responsible for the outcome of what’s going on.

Instead of blaming your partner for what’s going wrong in your relationship, perhaps try focusing on some of the things you really appreciate about him. Really look at his good points. After all, you fell in love with him once, so those qualities are still in there somewhere.

When he starts to notice that you’re no longer criticizing him for not doing enough or not being good enough, he’ll stop acting so defensively. He may even let some of that loving side back out, which is the side of him you wanted to see all along.

Get more insights into the human psyche with this eBook: www.gettingdumped101.com/getyourexbacknow

Fix Your Relationship by Getting Attuned

Did you know that even the worst relationships can be turned around into loving, happy partnerships very easily? www.gettingdumped101.com/getyourexbacknow

The key to fixing any relationship is to get attuned to what’s really going on in your relationship.

You see, far too many great relationships fail because men and women simply aren’t attuned to what each other really wants and how they really think. This can cause some people to try and do too much for the other person, or to act like someone they’re not in an effort to seem more appealing.

These things won’t work and they’re likely to spell doom for your relationship. What will work is becoming more attuned to what you really want from your partner.

At this point, far too many women will instantly think “but I want him to make me happy”. This is a common thought process in many women. They believe the man they love is responsible for making them happy and making their life complete.

What they fail to miss is that YOU are responsible for your own happiness. You get to choose what emotions you will accept in your own life. The great part about this thought process is that when you’re making yourself happy, your man will become happier too.

You see, by expecting someone else to take responsibility for the way you feel and think, you’re handing over the keys to another person and expecting them to drive the relationship wherever they want it to go. This might be in a completely different direction from where you had hoped to take it.

Spend a bit of time doing something that makes you happy. Watch a fun film. Hang out with the girls. Get your hair done. Go shopping. Go for a walk. Whatever. Just do something that makes you feel good.

You’ll become more attuned to what you really want and how you really want to be treated in your relationships.

When you’re feeling attuned to what you want and what works for you, your partner will suddenly begin to find you more attractive and want to spend more time with you.

Find out how to put these to work for you here: www.gettingdumped101.com/getyourexbacknow

Happiness by Design and Your Psychology

Have you ever known someone who constantly blames others for the bad things that happen to them? They blame their ex for making them feel bad, they blame their partner for not trying hard enough in the relationship, they blame their boss for making work awful, they blame their friends for being negative – there’s a lot of blame going on.

Here’s a little home truth: your happiness is your own responsibility.

It’s true! You really can design your own happiness and choose to feel great every single day. You can have great friends, a wonderful relationship and a brilliant job.

The key to these things is designing your own happiness using the power of your own psychology.

You see, everything that’s happening in your life right now was brought about by choices you made. You have the choice to accept those things, or you can choose to try something different. It’s completely up to you.

Think about why you’re not feeling as happy as you want to be right now. Are you in a miserable job? You choose to accept that job, just as it’s your choice whether you seek out a better job or stay where you are. You might choose to find things about your job to be grateful for.

Perhaps you’re not happy in your current relationship? Once again, you chose to be with that person, just as you have the power to choose whether you want to stay and fix the problems or whether you choose to find someone else. You could also choose to focus only on the good aspects of the person you love, rather than focusing on all the things you want to criticize.

The point here is that your happiness can be created by design.

Learn how now: Reunited Relationship M3 System

When you focus on the things you’re grateful for and spend some time working on things that make you happy within yourself, people are naturally drawn to you. You become like a magnet.

Don’t hand over the keys to your own happiness to anyone else. Your happiness is up to you, so make a decision about what makes you happy and go for it.

A Collision is Unavoidable, It’s In the Genes

Men and women are destined to be different. Genetically, we’re not the same. Biologically we’re not the same. Hormonally, emotionally and logically we’re not the same.

So why is it we expect our partners to think and react and respond the same way we do to certain situations?

Many couples argue over the smallest things simply because they don’t have an understanding of how differently the other person is viewing the real issue at hand. They also don’t have an awareness that men and women will have opposite hormonal reactions to stress that can skew their responses during that argument.

When you look at how completely opposite men and women can be, it’s no wonder so many of us clash with the ones we really love.

So while a clash might be inevitable, it doesn’t have to mean it’s a bad thing.

All couples argue from time to time. It’s how we handle those disagreements that can either make a relationship stronger or doom it to die a painful death.

Reunited Relationship M3 System

When a man gets into a stressful situation, like an argument with a loved one, he’ll release testosterone into his system. This might help him feel less stressed, but a woman may perceive him as becoming overly aggressive in his responses.

However, when a woman gets into a stressful situation, like that same argument with a loved one, she isn’t able to release her own stress-relieving hormone, oxytocin, into her system. In fact, she may even begin to release testosterone herself, which can actually increase her stress-levels and make her respond far more
aggressively than she usually would.

And so the argument escalates and both of you retreat into a stony silence where you both start wondering if this relationship is worth the effort at all.

However, if you were to understand how your partner differs from you and take this into account when trying to get your point of view across, perhaps your discussion could actually bring you both a deeper understanding of the other person’s thinking.

This might actually strengthen your relationship instead of colliding head-on like two speeding cars on a highway!

It’s Time Out – You Are Not a Machine

Many women complain that they do all the work in the relationship. They’re tired, they’re stressed and they’re constantly trying to do things to make sure their partner is okay.

How many women do you know seem like they’re walking on egg-shells around their partner, trying to pander to his every whim and desire just in case he might leave her?

Yet, in all of this, they often forget to do anything positive for themselves. No wonder they’re burned out and frazzled.

Then comes the big one – your partner wants a break. He wants to see other people. He doesn’t feel as close to you anymore. He’s simply pulling away or not calling as often or not making dates.

It can be devastating to know you’ve put in all that effort and he’s still pulling away. You did everything right. You did everything he wanted, the moment he wanted it. You dropped everything for him the moment he snapped his fingers…

Time out.

When did it become your job to be a machine? For any relationship to work, there needs to be a certain level of equality and respect for each other. If you’re voluntarily doing everything that needs to be done, you’ve removed the equality.

This can lead you to feeling neglected, unappreciated, resentful and simply burned out. When you’re feeling this way, your partner will be viewing you differently to the woman he fell in love with. He might even be tempted to pull away, because he feels that he can’t make you happy, so he might as well find someone he can make happy instead.

This isn’t the result you wanted from all your hard work, but it often works out this way.

Instead of trying to be a machine and doing everything for everyone else, spend a bit of time doing things just to make you feel a little happier. Pamper yourself a little. Spend some time with friends or do something that relaxes you.

That way, when it’s time to be with your partner, he’ll notice that you’re feeling happier, which in turn will inspire him to spend more time with you.

Isn’t that the result you wanted all along? If the answer is YES and you are still mourning your ex, then click on the link below:

www.reunitedrelationships.com

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