Relationship Advice

How To Get Over Getting Dumped

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Everyone has gotten dumped by someone they care about.  Then you are left with a broken heart.  How do you go on?  What will you do now that your love has left you feeling forlorn?

Here are some tips to getting over a broken heart.  At a time like this all you want to do is be alone to look over old pictures, play your song over and over while pathetically singing along, sporadically crying at different intervals, and thinking of what you could have done differently.

The first thing to do is to call some friends. Who better to lift you up than your friends.  They can take you out and cheer you up while occasionally telling you how much better you are without so and so and pointing out their various faults.  Your friends will have you laughing again in no time.

The next thing to do is get rid of everything that reminds you of your lost love. Box it up and put it away.  You cannot get over being dumped, if every time you look at your bed, you have the stuffed animal and picture of the certain someone who moved onto greener pastures.

Lose their phone number, for now. Don’t keep your ex love’s phone number with their picture next to it in your phone.  Delete it.  If at some point and time you are with a new love and your old love wants to be friends, then if you are ok with that put them back in.  Until then lose their number.

Have some “ME” time. Have some time to yourself.  But, not in your house.  Go out to the beach.  Go to dinner by yourself.  Read a good book.  Take a pottery class.  Meditate.  Just devote at least 6 hours a week to you.  Discover yourself as a single person.  When you are in a relationship sometimes you lose you.  Discover you again.

For all of you who have not been dumped yet, and don’t want to be anytime soon here are some tips to avoid having to get over a broken heart.  Listen.  Listen to what your significant other is saying.  Most relationships end with an argument of “You NEVER listen.”  So listen to your love.  They could be saying something important.

Keep the romance. Bringing home the occasional flowers or favorite chocolates is a good start.  Draw your love a bath.  Sprinkle rose pedals in it.  Whether it be a man or woman, everyone appreciates the little things.  Sometimes being romantic just includes doing the dishes.

Say I love you. These are the three most important words in the world.  Saying I love you especially when you love says it first is so critical.  If they say I love you and you say uh-huh.  That is not good.  Never throw away an I love you, it may be your last.

The same goes for kisses. We are not talking about tonsil wrestling.  We are talking about the little kisses in the store or on the way out.  If your love puckers and you don’t that is a bad deal.  They will think you don’t want to kiss them, find them attractive, ect.

The biggest thing to avoid ever is, NEVER EVER go to bed angry. If you have to see the sun come up together.  NEVER EVER go to bed angry.  You may not have the person there to say I’m sorry to in the morning.  They may leave in the night, or like one couple discovered their spouse died of a heart attack in the night.  He had no heart problems that they knew of and he was a young man.  She woke up and he was gone.  Death claimed him in the night and she never heard those words.  They went to bed angry and she has carried the guilt with her these many years.  Never remarrying awaiting the day when she can be with her beloved to say the words she has waited so many years to say.  “I’m sorry and I love you.”

Keeping the love will keep you from being dumped or having to get over getting dumped.  By doing the little things you will avoid the big things.  Treasure the love you have, and count your blessings.  People don’t do this enough.  They get caught up in this rat race we call life and forget the little things that are so important.

Your asking How to Get Him Back? – Here’s the way in which…

If you already been dumped for a couple of weeks now or even months and still not having the answer on what to do, you may want to read our post on getting over a broken heart.

In this post, let’s tackle things about getting the guy you love back in your arms again. This would not be that complete, but precisely hope this would help you get some ideas and thoughts.

You probably know, to get him back aren’t infallible, nonetheless they certainly do work much of the time.  But, bearing that in mind, often no matter how a great deal of good strategies you have, there is just zero way to recapture the main wonder. In that special event, you will know  that anyone at the least do your very best to get back together using the dude you adore.

First, buy your emotions in check.  Men just don’t get enjoyment from staying with women that can’t maintain their inner thoughts down. If you try to contact your pet even though how you feel are a complete mess, you can undoubtedly pressure him even further. Phoning him while you are naturally upset is not the way of get him back.

Let’s say that he or she ended up being starting to think about your fantastic qualities and may be they was beginning pass up you, but you mobile phone him continuously while just as one emotional wreck, he’ll almost certainly quickly choose that escaping an individual is a good idea. Pursuing, start performing the things you used to do when you go into the connection with your ex-boyfriend.

Stop worrying exactly of being depressed, you are making in precisely what he is undertaking. Why not go to your favorite spot beauty parlor; get the hair and nails achieved. Start doing issues with all your family members. To get your ex back depend on completely disengaging coming from actual physical speak to first. Pleading with with looking to attempt to speak things via here is a occur. Rid yourself of the proven fact that he is taken away forever : most human relationships can be renovated, but you need a very good strategy.

There’s nothing you’re going to be able to ask him seeing that will certainly trigger him straight to “seeing the light” and noticing his / her mistake. In the event he desires to mention something, let he or she. But make it clear that you’ve release and have absolutely no desire to look into your current troubles. If they feel your nonchalance you’ll be able to cheerfully say “that’s during the past, lets just hop on with our lives’.

Among the vital suggestions to get him back is often a refusal to engage in your own partnership “issues”. You will end up in a position involving power and excite the desire to get back your interest. Is not going to use strategies to generate speak to pretending you are going to his vacation spot to get your own things is simply too obvious. Even worse, in all probability you will end up emotional, mad and needy back then and also this will only develop drama and a blowout  and provide him extra reason to consider that he has created the right determination.

Can You and Your Ex Get Back Together

can you and your ex get back togetherIf you truly want to get back together with your ex, you have to do a bit of soul searching. You must be totally honest with yourself.  You have to decide if you and your ex get back together it will truly make you happy, and you won’t wind up down the same road that caused the breakup in the first place.  It’s always easy after a breakup to only think of the good times.  It’s important that you try to be completely objective and think of both the good and bad times.

In reality, there are a few relationships that are unworthy of saving. If you and your ex spent more time fighting than you did doing something good and fun, then perhaps you should consider moving on. f they were physically or verbally abusive, it probably wasn’t a healthy relationship.  If they were mentally unstable, you probably are better off without them.  If the relationship overall was a good one, and they weren’t abusive, and they were of sound mind, the following should help you and your ex get back together.

Pestering and pushing your ex isn’t a good idea.  If you try to constantly get in touch with your ex; whether its by phone, email, text message, or stalking them you’re going to do more harm than good.  They will see this as a sign of desperation.  This could actually push them further away than bring them closer to you.

Don’t argue, beg, or plead with your ex about your past relationship. It’s easy when you and your mind are all alone.  Your mind manifests all sorts of “wrongs” that you may have done.  Even when your ex broke up with you they may have gave you reasons why.  Now, you’re probably beating yourself up over them.  You probably wish you had never done those things.  The past is the past.  This is the present.

If you get it in your mind that the relationship is currently over.  You can’t go back in time, though you probably wish you could.  Concentrate on what is going on now.  The only thing worse than obsessively contacting your ex is to beg or plead with them.  Make promises how you’ll change, etc…This won’t help you and your ex get back together at all.

If you back off, give them some time, and live your life, you’ll be doing yourself a big favor in more ways than one.  You’ll probably become more desirable to your ex, because you’re allowing them to think about you and miss you.  You’ll also be helping yourself to live a happier, more fulfilling life too.

How can You Tell If You Are In A Toxic Relationship

How can you tell if you are in a toxic relationship?  Here are some clues:

  • Your partner puts you down (verbally) in front of others
  • While your partner says they love you, their actions don’t back it up.
  • Your partner is controlling – reading your mail or “showing up” at places you are just to “check up” on you.
  • Your partner tries to make you dependent on them.
  • You have changed things about yourself to please them.

Toxic people makehow can you tell you are in a toxic relationship you feel ill just being around them.  So, why would anyone end up in a toxic relationship?  Why would anyone want to be with someone who makes them feel emotionally or physically harmed?

A toxic relationship has a cycle.  There’s a honeymoon period, followed by a blow up, followed by a reconciliation – at which point the cycle begins anew.

When you first meet a new partner, you are obviously in the honeymoon stage.  It is not until they’ve sucked you in further that you realize that you are in a toxic relationship.  At that point, it is difficult to get out.

One reason is that many people in toxic relationships grow up in toxic homes.  As a result, they replicate the patterns of their childhood without even knowing they’re doing it.  And, they may not know any better.  Others believe they do not deserve happiness.  Still others find that they enjoy taking care of people.

But the first step in getting out and staying out of toxic relationships is to realize that you do have choices.  Often people who stay in these couples have low self esteem or suffer from depression.

Once you realize that you have choices, the next step is to start standing up for yourself.  In most toxic relationships, the toxic partner has taught you that it is all your fault.  Once you buy into this,  it can be very difficult to either walk away from the relationship or set new limits that can heal the relationship.

For some people, working in therapy groups can help them either get out of or redefine these horrible relationships.

The good news is that some people are able to break the cycles of toxic relationships.  Some of them leave the relationship and form new, healthier bonds.

But others are actually able to repair their relationship and stay in it.

The truth is that most relationships are able to be salvaged.  Sometimes it takes a little space.  Other times, it takes counseling.  But if both partners make an attempt, it is possible to renew the bonds in a healthy way.

The first thing you need to decide is that the relationship must improve or you’re willing to walk away.  If you aren’t willing to walk away, you’ll never be able to heal that which divides you.

Once you have liberated yourself from the dependency that is at the core of a toxic relationship, you can start to assert what you need from the connection.  Don’t nag the other person.  Simply say “I need your support,” “I need your love,” or “I need your truthful opinion.”

If you don’t get what you need, the other person should know that you’re prepared to walk.

A healthy relationship is a two way street.  In a toxic relationship, the street is only going one way.  You have the power to change that, but you must take the power into your own hands.

7 Ways to Build Trust in a Relationship

7 ways to build trust in a relationshipDo you know these 7 concrete ways to build trust in a relationship?  Often, what really makes a relationship work are not the things we think of first.  For instance, do you think you always need to spice things up?  Wrong!  Predictability is more important than variety in a relationship.  The following seven methods are guaranteed to grow your connection by improving the level of trust in a relationship.

First, as I mentioned in the opening paragraph, you need to be predictable.  This goes against the common notion that you need to “stir things up” to keep the romance alive.  Sure, going to a new restaurant or giving a surprise gift can be nice, but most of all, we need things to be consistent and steady in order to make our relationships work.  Consider that trust in a relationship is built on being reliable day in and day out.

Next, you need to make sure that your words always match the message.  This means that your partner needs to hear the words which match your body language.  If you say you are happy but you are frowning, your partner doesn’t hear your words, he or she sees your face and the tone in your voice. Your parter needs to be able to trust what you are saying.  When the words match the message, you build trust in a relationship.

Third, you need to have a fundamental belief in your partner’s competency.  If you don’t you won’t have the trust in a relationship that you need.  When lovingly communicated, the truth is never destructive.  When you do not believe that your partner is competent at some things (or indeed, anything), you violate the trust in a relationship.

Don’t keep secrets.  Secrets destroy the trust in a relationship.  Be honest and open.  Assume everything you know will eventually come out.  Secrets require enormous energy on your part.  That is energy that could be going into building the relationship.

Fifth, don’t be afraid to let your partner know what your needs are.  Don’ t make him or her guess what you need.  Let them know.  It is okay to be self-centered as long as you are not selfish.  Indeed, if you are reluctant to assert your needs, you may go overboard in the opposite direction and smother your partner.

Sixth, learn to say no.  When your partner voices his or her needs, that is a good thing.  But you don’t need to say yes to everything.  A partner cannot respect you if you never say no.  Refusing to be subjugated to the other person’s will actually builds trust in a relationship.

Finally, always pursue growth.  When you plant a flower, you begin by digging in the dirt.  Digging in the dirt of our relationships can sometimes cause pain.  But, through that pain, we prepare the soil for future growth.  Don’t be afraid of turmoil, crisis, or questions.  These become the fertilizer for growth and change.  Embrace what is difficult.

When you decide to work on trust in a relationship, you are bound to encounter a little pain.  But, as you work through this pain, you will not only become stronger as an individual, you will also strengthen your coupledom.

Restoring Trust in Relationships Getting Your Ex Back After an Affair

How do you get your ex back even after you’ve cheated?  Some people claim that an affair should always end a relationship.  But I disagree.  I believe that every relationship is savable if both parties really want to work on it.  This article is about restoring trust in relationships.

Restoring trust in relationships requires an adjustment in attitude and actions.  Even after an affair, it is possible to save a relationship.  But that starts with ramping up the level of trust within the couple.

If you have had an affair, you have had an attitude which allowed you to stray.  There may be something at the relationship’s core that is diseased.  But you can heal the disease.

What was it that you were looking for when you strayed?  Was the sex humdrum?  Was she too busy for you?  Was she just not spending enough time on her grooming?

You wouldn’t have had an affair if the primary relationship was perfect.  So, what needs to be done to fix it?  Often that lies in self analysis.  But just as often, that lies in the couple’s relationship.

Restoring trust in relationships means fixing the underlying problems.  Sometimes that means going into couples counseling.

But just understanding our thoughts isn’t enough.  The next step is to take concrete action in fixing the problems.

The secret to restoring trust in relationships lies not in talking about the right things, but in doing the right things.

One of the biggest things you can do is to make small promises and keep them.  If you promise to take the trash out every evening, do it.  And, do it consistently.  When you demonstrate that you can be trusted in the small things, a gradual sense of confidence will be realized in the larger picture of the relationship.

Your girlfriend or wife is going to need constant reassurance that you have changed.  This means that you are going to need to apologize more than once over time.  You will also need to treat the recurring comments about the violation of trust as a matter of course.  It is not easy for her to forgive the breach.  If you want to stay with her, you will be patient with her.

This does not mean that you must feel guilty about the indiscretion forever.  In fact, if you allow her to constantly guilt trip you, she will not be satisfied in the new relationship you are building.  Just be understanding.

Finally, you need to put a positive spin on the incident.  Treat it as an opportunity for both of you to grow as individuals and for the relationship to mature.  Just as a bone grows stronger at the place it has been broken, a relationship can improve after an affair.

Restoring trust in a relationship takes time.  It requires that you change both your attitudes and actions.  But it is possible to heal the divide and be a stronger couple as a result.

Relationship Quotes for Your Enjoyment

Sometimes the best way to say something is the way someone more literary than you has said it.  In that vein, here are some relationship quotes of note:

“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.”
-Oprah Winfrey

“Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: they’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.” -Anthony Robbins

“Some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never ever the same.” -Flavia Weedn

“The act of forgiveness is the act of returning to present time. And that’s why when one has become a forgiving person, and has managed to let go of the past, what they’ve really done is they’ve shifted their relationship with time.” – Caroline Myss

“Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.” – Mark Twain

“Well, it seems to me that the best relationships – the ones that last – are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is… suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with” ~ Gillian Anderson

“Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.” – Aristotle

“The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart.” – Helen Keller

“Where does the family start? It starts with a young man falling in love with a girl – no superior alternative has yet been found.” – Winston Churchill

“It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and persevering courtship. Love is the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be created for years or even generations.” – Kahlin Gibran

“To love means to commit oneself without guarantee, to give oneself completely in the hope that our love will produce love in the loved person.” – Eric Fromm

“Man is a knot into which relationships are tied.” ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

“You can’t stop loving or wanting to love because when its right, it’s the best thing in the world. When you’re in a relationship and it’s good, even if nothing else in your life is right, you feel like your whole world is complete.” ~ Keith Sweat

“Our greatest joy-and our greatest pain comes in our relationships with others.” ~ Stephen R. Covey

“Love doesn’t just sit there like a stone; it has to be made – like bread, remade all the time, made new.” – Ursula LeGuin

“Once the trust goes out of a relationship, it’s really no fun lying to ‘em anymore.” -Norm from Cheers

There’s a broad collection of relationship quotes for you.

How Can A Rebound Relationship Work In Your Favor

If you have broken up with the love of your life and she is in a rebound relationship, how do you get her back?

A rebound relationship is one where she is dating someone else to get over you.  Rebound relationships keep people from having to deal with the emotions of breaking up.  They’re used to help people move on from a real love.

And that’s the key to getting your ex back.  She’s in a rebound relationship to deal with losing you.

It does not matter why she lost you.  It doesn’t matter if it is your fault or hers.  It doesn’t even matter who actually called the relationship off.  What matters is that you have a real love.

Because virtually all relationships founded on real love can be saved.

If she’s in a rebound relationship, she will be focusing on what is wrong with your relationship.  If you were a “good guy” she’ll probably be hanging out with a “bad boy.”  If you were into philosophy, he’ll be watching Monday Night Football.  Or, vice versa.

The fact that she is actually focusing on the differences in your styles is actually good for you for two reasons.  Her attention is still focused on you even when she’s with the new guy.  And, it gives you a chance to see what she’s looking for.

If she’s with someone as different from you as possible, it means that she was missing something in your relationship.  You can use the time she’s with rebound man to improve yourself.

Let the rebound relationship run its course.  Because, as she spends time with the new guy, she will start to see the flaws in him.  After a month or so with rebound man, you’ll start to look pretty good.

That’s why you don’t want to crawl back to her right away.  Let her develop the idea that she misses the good things in the relationship.  When she’s ready to make a move, be magnanimous.  Welcome her back graciously.  Be a new and improved boyfriend, but don’t do the chasing.

Here are some specific steps to take when your ex is in a rebound relationship:

* Don’t try to convince her that you are the love of her life. Let her discover this on her own.

* Don’t apologize profusely. If you did something wrong, you can say you’re sorry.  Once.  But move on.  She knows the real reason she loves you.

* Don’t make promises to change. You are who you are and that’s who she fell in love with.

* Don’t try to make her see that it wasn’t your fault. She will come to appreciate that over time – but only if you haven’t made her invest energy in defending her position that it was your fault.

* Never, ever beg her to take you back.

When you ex starts going out with someone just after you break up, she’s in a rebound relationship.  You can make up with her and get back together.  Don’t despair.  The rebound relationship is a sign that she’s still in love with you.

Saving A Relationship In 7 Steps


Jim works long hours and Lisbet doesn’t feel he is there for her.  Lisbet spends all of her time meeting the children’s needs and Jim feels that she doesn’t have time for his needs?  Can this relationship be saved?  Should it be saved?  Here’s how to save a relationship.

First, you must decide whether the relationship is worth saving.  While almost every relationship can be saved with hard work, both parties must decide that they want to make it work.  Because if a partner has opted out and doesn’t want to opt back in, there is little that can be done.

Many people stay in a relationship because it is convenient or remain in a marriage because of the children.  But that is not enough.  How to save a relationship starts with a commitment by both parties that the relationship is worth saving.

Next, you must pinpoint the problem or problems in a relationship.  One of the biggest problems in how to save a relationship is that people believe the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself.

For instance, many people think an affair is a problem that causes break ups.  In truth, the affair is a symptom of a deeper problem.  For instance, a lack of true intimacy can lead to a straying spouse.  While most people look at the affair as the problem, the underlying cause of the affair was the lack of intimacy in the primary relationship.  If you do not deal with the lack of intimacy, you might be able to keep another affair from starting through the use of guilt, but another problem (for instance pornography) could pop up because you haven’t dealt with the core issue.

When you start to deal with core issues rather than symptoms, you can save the relationship.

Once you have identified the core problems, you can begin to share your thoughts.  This means both verbalizing your own feelings and listening to your partner’s concerns.  Hold your partner’s had when you are talking about your problems as a signal that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are swirling.  When your partner talks about things that hurt you remember that he or she is not doing it because he or she wants to hurt you.   Rather it is because they want to improve the relationship.

Once you have detailed the problems in your relationship, create an action plan to solve them.  Then, take concrete steps on your action plan.  If you don’t spend time together like you used to, plan a date night every week.  Take turns coming up with creative ways to spend an evening together each Wednesday.  If not communicating is the problem, commit to spending 20 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another.  And, then do it.

Finally, you should realize that saving a relationship is an ongoing process.  You are going to take two steps forward only to take one step back.  There is going to be both laughter and tears going forward.  Be quick to apologize and slow to blame.

Is your relationship worth saving?  If so, I’ve described in this article how to save a relationship.

Ending a Relationship Through Breaking Up is Hard To Do

Does your to-do list look something like this:

·    Walk dog
·    Water plants
·    Break up with significant other

Okay, while ending a relationship is hardly at the top of anybody’s calendar, the fact is that when a relationship has gone sour, someone has to make the move to end it.  The truth is that many relationships last long beyond the “expire by” date just because breaking up is hard to do.

Sometimes a break up happens in dramatic fashion with clothes being thrown out of a second story window.

Other times, the relationship just peters out until someone says “it’s caput.”

How do you go about ending a relationship so that neither party gets hurt?

You need to get clear on why you want to terminate the romance.  The immediate reason that jumps into your mind may not be the real reason.  Once you get clear, the next step in ending a relationship is to get honest.  That means that in your discussion with your partner that you are true to yourself and to them.

Schedule a mutually convenient time for the breakup.  In general, it is better to do it in person rather than over the phone, but if distance is an issue in the relationship, you should do it sooner than wait for a time you can get together.

Get into a state of compassion when ending the relationship.  If you want to stay friends after the break up, you need to conclude the romantic ties with love and compassion.

Don’t put your partner on the defensive.  Talk about the things you’ve learned and the memories you will cherish that have come from your love.  Be present during the break up.  Your partner may become very emotional during this time.  You need to respond to their needs.

Don’t take anything personally when ending a relationship.  Your partner may say things they don’t really mean.  Let these words roll off of your back.

Your partner may need to meet with you more than once to conclude the relationship.  Or, they may need space.  Give your ex what they need to get through the transition time.

But don’t let them make you feel guilty.  You’re ready to begin a new phase in your life and it will not include a romantic relationship with your ex.  It is best if you retain a positive relationship of some sort with them, but if you are ending the relationship for the right reasons, it is best for both of you.

Should you ever consider reconnecting?  Does ending a relationship always mean “the end, close the book?”

That is something you have to decide.  Virtually all relationships can be saved if certain conditions are met.  If you have the time and are willing to make the effort, you can get through this period as an even stronger couple.

However, if you are determined to walk away, it’s best to end a relationship with a clean break and move on.

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